


Heroin Dreams

by paperbackwriterfromnowhere



Category: The Beatles
Genre: Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Heroin Use, M/M, needle tw, vomit mention tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:01:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9458339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperbackwriterfromnowhere/pseuds/paperbackwriterfromnowhere
Summary: John uses heroin and passes out. Guess who he sees in his dreams?This is a short collection of little mini-drabbles that I may or may not get around to making more of!





	

There’s a warm rush and suddenly, John feels no more pain. He’s in his happy place, which, he’d deny aggressively if anyone found out… it wasn’t with Yoko, but Paul.

The heroin pulls every memory and lets him slide through it as though it were all real again. That the person next to him wasn’t Yoko, but Paul. That it’s BEEN Paul.

( It was always Paul. )

His lips linger against the younger’s, and he can feel Paul’s breath and it makes him shiver in the very best of ways. He whispers the _I love yous_ he never got to say and suddenly, everything is slipping away. John reaches out for Paul but the image of him so close is slipping away, spinning out of control and out of reach.

He’s left sweaty and wrecked from the H that had been in his bloodstream and he wonders briefly if he should call Paul, it’s at that moment he feels like he’s going to be sick as he runs to the bathroom.

( He doesn’t call him. )

*********

The next time he gets fucked up, he’s lying in bed with Paul in his head. They talk about Martha and Paul’s ever expanding litter of children, but there’s no mention of Linda or of Yoko.

“I could’ve given you a better life, Johnny.”

John meets his gaze, he knows it’s true. John knows he clings to Yoko for all the wrong reasons.

As Paul spins out of view, he yells that he loves him.

He hopes he hears him.

( He doesn’t think he did. )

*********

He realises the heroin is making him more depressed; that he longs more and more for Paul’s kisses and touches. That he made the biggest fucking mistake of his life letting him go.

Yoko says no more junk. _It’s bad for us._

But he pushes the needle in anyway.

A smile spreads across his face and he’s with Paul on a couch, his head resting in his lap as the younger man strokes John’s hair. It’s everything he’s ever wanted. Paul says “I love you,” and John jumps up, kissing him deeply.

“Let’s run off, get married!” John exclaims.

Paul nods and they get up to go right then, and that’s when John’s high wears off and he wakes up. He cries until he’s sick.

He tells Yoko he must have a stomach bug or something. She pretends to believe him because it’s easier this way.

He eyes the phone. He should call him.

( But he doesn’t. )


End file.
